Dreaming of You
by AnyaChristina
Summary: Explores some of the darker aspects of BTVS including some pairings that I wouldn't normally use. . .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own and am in no way affiliated with BTVS or Angel.

Author's Note: Most of us would agree that what makes BTVS so great is the darkness and the writers' desire to push the envelope. This story follows suit. Many of you may be offended. Many of you might be appalled. There will be Spawn. There will be other pairings that seem strange. Deal with it.

**Dreaming of You**

Chapter One: Crush

Light crept unexpectedly into the darkened crypt with the opening of the heavy, stone door. It was Dawn, catching spike completely off guard, as usual. She had been stopping by the crypt a lot lately, flattering Spike to no end. It had been years since a girl her age had been interested in him- well, no, it really hadn't. The truth was that the naughty little nymph type had always had an affinity for the strong, platinum haired bad boy. Even an innocent little nip of 15 or 16 knew that Mummy and Daddy would never approve of his black clothes, cocky attitude, cigarettes, or, most offensive of all, his age. There really was no way to stop him for a mortal, though, and since returning to Sunny-Hell Spike had been taking full advantage of the innocent young girls that would do anything to please him. Dawn however was more scary than titillating. She was, after all, the baby sister of the Slayer.

Dawn was a sexy young thing, though, wasn't she? With her pouty mouth and smart attitude, she seemed older than she was and younger, too, all at the same time. Somewhere along the was, Dawn had also learned a skill that most women don't pick up until they are in their twenties- she learned how to hang on Spike's every word like he was the most fascinating creature she had ever met. Dawn's downfall was that she was sincere; he really was the most fascinating person she had ever met. While everyone else tried to protect her from the truth of he real world, Spike told her anything she wanted to know. Sometimes he'd give her the run-around for a few minutes first, but eventually he'd give in.

"Hey, Spike! What's up?" She declared the words as if they were bursting to get out of her, the way she did all words. Dawn always commanded attention in a way everybody tried to, but nobody really could.

"Oh, so you're lurking around again, eh? You've been doin' that a lot lately. I'd wager big sis isn't too thrilled." Spike tried to sound bored as he allowed the words to slip off his tongue. He didn't want Dawn to get the wrong idea and think that this kind of crush should be encouraged. Cute little thing, but she was still Dawn. She was still Buffy's sister. He just had to keep reminding himself of that so that his evil little brain wouldn't get the better of him.

Dawn blushed a deep crimson. She had definitely felt his false boredom and taken it into her fragile adolescent heart. "Do you- I mean, we are friends, right? Am I…Do I annoy you, or something?"

Spike chuckled a throaty, ambiguous chuckle. He didn't really know what to say. Occasionally annoying, demanding, whiny- she was all those things, there was no question. She was also pretty, delicate, sweet, and passionate. He didn't want to push her out the door, but at the same time, he couldn't very well bring her in any closer than she already was. "Yeah, Little Bit. We're friends, I guess."

Smiling at him, Dawn drew closer and sat on couch beside him. She leaned her little head on his shoulder and a gasp caught in his throat. She pouted at him again and gave him sad-puppy eyes. He had never seen anything that made him feel such conflicting emotions- he didn't know whether he wanted to protect and shelter her from the world or bite her till she begged him to stop.

"Will you tell me a story?" She asked hopefully.

"Well, what kind of story?"

"Mmmm, how about a story about the first person you ever killed."

Spike's expression quickly changed. He didn't want to talk about that, the woman had been young and frightened. He didn't want to scare Dawnie away. Deep in his dead, still heart, he had a need for her company. He would be all alone, friendless, without her. He still had Harmony coming around a lot, but she was an intolerably vapid little bint. Always going on and on about bloody Paris. He hated Paris. . .oh, yeah. Dawn. He had gotten side-tracked by his thoughts. Rubbing his temples in an act of surrender he sighed and began to speak.

"It was right after Dru made me what I am, of course. It's a nasty story, you sure it won't make you hide under the covers tonight?"

Dawn simply rolled her eyes, so Spike continued. "We were wondering around England, Dru and I, drinking a bit, dancing in the streets. She had so much energy for a dead person, s'pose that's because she's completely bonkers. We had been wondering around like that until late at night until we saw a woman, also wondering the streets. She wasn't a vampire and, besides our kind only one kind of woman was on the street that late at night. She was a prostitute, a young one. She couldn't have been a day over thirteen. She was a pretty thing, too, a red-head with big blue eyes. Dru grabbed her, put her hand over her mouth, you know. Bollocks. I can't talk to you like this, Dawn. I don't want you to get scared."

She looked at him and smiled. "Spike, I'm not even a little bit afraid of you."

"Oh, I see! Because I'm chipped, right? Well, listen to me that's rubbish. If I wanted to badly enough, I could bear the pain long enough to make you shiver in terror, got it? Believe me, baby, I'm still the Big Bad."

Dawn could see that she had wounded his pride and felt horrible. She hadn't meant that he was weak. She was nervous about what she was about to say, but for the sake of their friendship; she had to explain to him what she felt. Trembling slightly she opened her mouth to speak.

"I didn't mean hat I don't think you could hurt me," she said quietly. "Who can say the chip would even work, I'm not completely human, am I? What I meant was that, even if you tried to scare me, I couldn't fear you. Even if you bit me, I'd feel safe. I think. . .even if you hurt me, I'd like it."

Feeling himself go weak, Spike grabbed the arm of the chair to steady himself. Bloody Hell, he was still sitting and this little girl made him fear falling over. She was on her knees next to him now, scooting herself. She touched his cheek tenderly and he tried to think of the words to stop her.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're just"

"Don't you dare say I'm just a child Spike. I love you and if you said that I swear it would kill me. I love you, do you hear me? I want to b your girlfriend, I want to be with you."

Feeling his face completely flush, Spike quickly answered, "Dawn, don't be so naïve. I can't give you what you want. I don't do the girlfriend thing. You're way too young for the only thing I could ever give you."

Understanding what he meant, Dawn's face went steely. She was not like most girls's her age, thinking she wanted something, but not willing to take it by whatever means necessary. She slid off the couch and knelt in front of him. Taking his hands into her, she kissed them softly, her eyes never leaving his. He felt himself harden and longed for the strength to stand up. As she began to unbuckle his belt, he grabbed her around the waist and out her on his lap.

"What do you think of me, Dawn? Do you really believe that's what I want from you right now?"

He kissed her eyebrows fervently, kissed her nose, kissed her chin. She smelled like some sort of apple body lotion. He couldn't keep this up, he wanted to be tender towards her, but he needed to taste her full, crimson lips. As he moved his lips to her, she moaned expectantly. Knowing she had never been kissed before, he was sweet and patient. The kiss drew more intense, fuller of fire. He lay her down on the couch and continued to kiss her, on top of her long, lean body. He began to unbutton her lavender shirt, moving his hands over her blossoming chest. Feeling his desire grow, spike took a long, sharp breath and then…

He woke up.

He awoke up alone in his bed. He couldn't believe that he had dreamed of Dawn again. Fearing that he was going crazy, Spike stood up and went for his cigarettes. Confusion wracked his brain. Wasn't it Buffy he was in love with? No, how could he be? She had no compassion, no faith in him. She was a vixen. She knew that she could use him as long as she was willing to wave her long, blond hair in front of his face. Dawn was different. She had feelings and. . . Buffy could never compare to a girl who liked him for who he was.

Across town, Dawn was just waking up, too. Humming delightedly to herself, she began to take her morning shower. As she scrubbed herself, she tried to recall every moment of her dream from the night before. She had been at Spike's crypt and had finally had the courage to reveal her feelings to him. They had nearly done _it_, when her alarm clock woke her up. At lunchtime she would tell Janice all about it. Janice was much more experienced with boys and would be able to tell her if she was right about what things would be like. She sighed and turned off the water, stepping out onto a towel. She would never know if she didn't try. That night, after school, she would go to Spike's. She would sneak out through the window after Buffy thought she was asleep; no one had checked on her past bedtime for years. Tonight was the night. She was going to tell Spike she loved him.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still the same, not affiliated with Buffy or Angel!

Chapter Two: Agony

Sitting down to a cup of tea, Willow and Buffy looked at each other and smiled. Willow had been very busy with class and, with no new demons lurking about, they hadn't really had much time together over the last week. Buffy looked horrible and Willow felt guilty. She remembered how angry she was when Oz left and how much she had needed her friends to help her through things. Feeling like a total hypocrite after her Oz meltdown, Willow mentally berated herself for not being more available to Buffy during her time of darkness after losing Riley.

"Not been sleeping well, Buff?" Willow asked with an air of (very noticeably fake) nonchalance.

"Just last night," she replied with a half smile. "I had a dream about Riley. It kind of gave me the wiggins."

"Oh that's great!"

Buffy stared at her blankly. She almost laughed at Willow's outburst. Willow was very smart and had a tendency to burst out thoughts that she had completely worked through inside her head, not realizing that no one else would get it. Willow must have seen the look of confused amusement on Buffy's face because she grinned and impish grin back at her.

"Sorry. What I meant was, if having a dream about Riley gave you the wiggins, you must not be dreaming about him as much as when he first left."

"Oh! Gotcha. No, the thing is I never really dreamed about him that much, so, yeah, I'm completely off guard, but that isn't where the creeping comes in."

"It's not?"

"No. Remember those dreams that Angel and I were having when the First was after him? Well, it felt like that. . .like maybe we were having the same dream."

Quietly, Willow leaned in and whispered, "Was it like those dreams with Angel? Were you- I mean did you. . .you know?"

Buffy laughed outright at the look on Willow's face. She was so funny. She had lost her virginity to a were-wolf, become one Hell of a witch, and come-out as a lesbian, but she couldn't utter the word sex out loud to her best friend. Willow laughed, too, knowing that she was always going to be who she was and taking great joy in the fact. The two friends hugged, but pulling apart something strange happened. Buffy didn't quite want to let her go. They had friends for so long and she had felt so alone over the past years. As they pulled apart, Buffy felt agony inside. After Willow had come out, Buffy had always felt a terrible nagging in the pit of her stomach, like maybe Tara had moved in on what should have been hers. She had never considered the possibility that she, Buffy, might be a lesbian. The pieces had never quite fit together. It wasn't women that Buffy felt the attachment to. She liked men. Except she sort of happened to maybe like Willow, too.

"Will, can I ask you a question that's going to sound completely ridiculous?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm just kidding, of course you can."

Buffy bit her lip nervously. The thought of asking Willow what she was about to ask her made her feel sick. She had no control over it, though. It was strange.

"Willow, when did you first start having feelings that you might like girls? Did it really start with Tara?"

'Shit,' Willow thought. 'Does Buffy know?' Willow hadn't started liking girls when she met Tara. She remembered the first time she had been attracted to a girl like it was yesterday. She and Buffy had been sharing a dorm room for about a week and they were watching movies together in Buffy's bed. Neither of them thought much of being that close together, they had been friends for years. Buffy was in boxers and a t-shirt, Willow was in purple flannel shorts and a thermal tank top. Nothing about the scene was overtly sexy. They were dressed as they were always dressed, nothing was different. It wasn't like in some male fantasy where they engaged in a passionate pillow fight. They had looked at each other and Buffy had kissed Willow tenderly on her lips. They fell asleep holing each other, but nothing else had ever happened. Neither of them acted as if it meant anything. It had been innocent enough and they had no idea that they had both craved much more.

"No, not exactly. . ."

"Willow, did you ever have thoughts like that about me?"

"Why do you ask?" willow answered, feigning innocence.

"Because I have those feelings about you sometimes."

Her heart beating wildly, Willow kissed Buffy on the lips. Their mouths were closed, there was no tongue. It could seem platonic if taken out of context, but they both knew it was an invitation. Even knowing that Buffy wanted her, Willow couldn't bring herself to initiate sexual acts. Following her lead, Buffy began to kiss Willow deeply. Willow smiled as she pulled away, gazing deeply into Buffy's pale blue eyes. She yearned for her. She began to kiss her again, but a figure entered her peripheral vision. It was Tara, tears streaming down her face.

"I- I should have knocked. I just knew W-willow was here and I brought you two some m-m-muffins." She dropped the wicker basket she was carrying to the floor, blueberry muffins scattering everywhere. "I thought they'd be good with your tea," She said before turning and running out the door.

Willow ran after her. 'This has to be a dream,' she thought to herself. She was running as fast as she could, but she couldn't catch Tara. She gave up and jogged back to the Summer's home, dreading the look she feared she'd find on Buffy's face. She knew that Buffy would be sympathetic and considerate. She hated that look. She wanted to see that look that Buffy had made right before they kissed. That was a good look for Buffy. It hurt her that Tara was in such pain, but she had to follow her heart.

Buffy met her at the door. There was no look of sympathy. It was there! The look of lustful craving, of passion and hunger! Willow wrapped her long, slender arms around Buffy's petite frame and kissed her again, right there on the stoop. Her and wondered down to the Slayer's tight, firm ass and groped. She felt like silk, like heaven.

Divine.

Buffy didn't care if the neighbors saw her kissing a girl, but she knew she had to get willow inside. She couldn't satisfy this craving with a kiss, she couldn't be fulfilled by lips touching. She had to be with Willow. She wasn't sure what all that entailed and she didn't care. She remembered sex, of course, and knew that she wanted to hear Willow make all those familiar moans as Buffy touched her in the right places. She wanted to kiss the other girls smooth thigh, feel her hand between the other girl's leg. She wanted to taste her. Picking her up with ease, she carried Willow up to her bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. Unbuttoning Willow's pale blue shirt, she felt as though she could float.

TBC


End file.
